If you place your values on external things like material possessions and then get married, it can cause mental distress. You lose your own time, your discretionary money disappears, your partner's words and actions become stressful, the feeling of being tied down by not being able to quit your job, and anxiety about the future. This suffering comes from seeking things outside of yourself. On the other hand, this can also be a good opportunity to realize the intrinsic value within.
In both romantic relationships and marriage, if the two people are not aware of each other's consciousness, the ego, which prioritizes "me", starts to have various expectations of the other. If the other person does not meet these expectations, they turn into disappointment. Strong egos have big expectations, and dissatisfaction with the other person also increases. Expectations and disappointments are thoughts. For those with thin egos, compassion becomes greater than expectations for the other.
The ego always expects "my" joy in everything. And it also gets disappointed.
When someone expects something from you, moving out of fear of disappointing them if you don't respond is not intuitive, it's ego preservation. However, acting out of goodwill for the person who has expectations is love.
The ego can't sit still quietly. It becomes anxious when there is nothing to do. That's why it always wants to think and move. It thinks it has to do something.
The ego can't stand boredom or loneliness, and looks at mobile phones or meets friends to distract itself. These feelings also come from thoughts, and they disappear when you become no-minded.
If you suddenly fall ill and have to be hospitalized, you will feel anxious. At such times, if you engage in no-mindedness, you will realize that your mind is occupied with thoughts of fear. If you become no-minded, you can see fear objectively. You can't feel happy, but it's good training.
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